Navigating the Team Trials: How to Shine and Keep the Fun in Sport
Team trial days can feel like a whirlwind for young athletes. The excitement of a new season, the hope of making a specific team, and maybe a dash of nerves about performing under pressure. As parents and coaches, we want our kids to do their best, but more importantly, we want them to enjoy the journey and learn valuable life lessons along the way.
This article will give you and your child some actionable tips to approach trial day with confidence, sportsmanship, and a healthy perspective, plus advice on how to handle the outcome, whatever it may be.
Preparing for Trial Day: More Than Just Kicking a Ball
1. Remember the Fun Factor
Before stepping onto the field, take a moment to remind your child (and yourself!) why they play. It's about having fun, getting active, spending time with friends, and learning new skills. No matter what team they end up in, they will make new friends, develop their abilities, and still get to play the sport they love. The team selection is just one small part of a much bigger, enjoyable experience.
2. Control the "Controllables"
Kids often worry about the outcome of trials – making a specific team – which is largely out of their direct control. Instead, encourage them to focus on what they can control:
Effort: Give 100% in every drill, run, and play, even if they make a mistake. Coaches always notice maximum effort.
Attitude: Be positive, listen attentively when the coach speaks, and be the first to hustle to the next station or drill.
Preparation: Practice leading up to the trial, especially if they are at the start of the season and you havent played in a while. Ensure they get a good night's sleep, a healthy breakfast, and having their sports gear ready well in advance can make a huge difference in performance and mindset.
3. Be an Encouraging Teammate (Even in Trials)
While trials are about individual selection, coaches are always looking for team players and leaders. Encourage your child to cheer for others, offer a high-five, or help a teammate who's struggling. Showing how they can build the team up, even during an individual assessment, speaks volumes about their character.
4. The "Mistake Reset"
Mistakes happen – it’s part of learning and playing sports! Coaches aren't looking for perfection; they’re looking for resilience. If your child drops a ball, misses a shot, or makes a wrong pass, remind them that the trial isn't over. Encourage a quick "reset" – maybe a physical brush-off of the hands or a deep breath – to show coaches they can move on quickly to the next play with a positive attitude.
5. Focus on "Personal Bests," Not Comparing to Others
Instead of comparing themselves to the kid next to them who seems to be doing everything perfectly, suggest your child sets a small, personal goal for the session. Maybe it’s "I want to use my left foot once in a game scenario" or "I want to call out names loudly when I pass." This shifts the focus from external competition to internal growth and mastery.
6. Be a "Loud" Player
In a sea of jerseys, quiet kids can sometimes blend in. Encourage your child to use their voice—calling for the ball, cheering for a teammate’s effort, or communicating on defense. It shows confidence, engagement, and a high "Sports IQ."
When the Result Isn’t What They Hoped For: A Parent’s Guide
This is often the hardest part, both for kids and parents. How a parent talks about trials and selections is incredibly important. Avoid building it up too much beforehand, and be prepared to guide your child through disappointment if they don’t get what they were after.
1. Acknowledge and Validate Their Disappointment
It’s okay for them to be sad, angry, or frustrated if they don't make the team they wanted. Avoid jumping straight to "It’s not a big deal" or "You’ll get over it." Instead, try: "I can see you're really disappointed, and that’s okay. It shows how much you care about the game and how hard you tried." Let them sit with that feeling for a bit, this is not the time to jump in and try and “fix it”.
2. The Power of "Not Yet"
Frame the selection not as a final judgment of their talent, but as a snapshot of where they are today. Use the "Growth Mindset" approach: they haven't made that team yet. It's an opportunity to shine in a different tier, get more playing time, develop skills, and work towards future goals. Sometimes, being a key player on a development team is far better for a child’s confidence and skill growth than being out of their depth on a higher-ranked team.
3. Seek Constructive Feedback (If Possible)
If appropriate and available, ask the coach for one or two specific areas for improvement. This turns a "failure" into a roadmap. It gives your child a sense of agency – they now have clear goals and a mission for the upcoming season, transforming disappointment into motivation.
4. Encourage Them to Keep Going
Remind them that every great athlete faces setbacks. This experience is a part of their sporting journey, not the end of it. Encourage them to keep practicing, keep playing, and keep loving the game. Their dedication and perseverance will pay off over time.
5. The Gift of Resilience
Not making a team is a masterclass in life. It teaches kids how to handle setbacks, how to work harder for a goal, and how to find joy in the sport itself rather than the status of a "Top Team" label. Learning to deal with these setbacks can set them up for other challenges in life. Resilience is one of the best skills we can learn in life.
The Big Picture: It’s Only One Day
At the end of the day, a trial is just a snapshot in time—it doesn’t define a child’s talent, their potential, or their worth. Whether they see their name at the top of the list or a little further down, the goals remain the same: have fun, work hard, and grow.
Sport is a marathon, not a sprint. Today’s setback is often the fuel for tomorrow’s breakthrough. Let’s keep the pressure low and the spirits high so our kids keep coming back to the game they love.
